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Lowell has very few places for people to play their music. One place is called the Sugar Shack. They have an open night on Wednesday night. I heard about it, and decided maybe it would be a good place to play my new Korg Karma workstation and see how people liked what I did. But mostly to have a place where I could play anything I wanted. I guess you could say the Sugar Shack is like a coffee house. People don’t have to pay to come in, but the owner Tom makes money from the audience from the coffee or other beverages or items they may buy. The place isn’t that big. It has a couple of couches, a piano on the side, which very few people play because it’s out of tune. A big round table with about eight chairs around it. Two small round tables, and a couple of small square tables. The place is small, but they have a bathroom.

I was told to be there at 8:30 to sign up for the open mike. They don’t start until around 9, or until enough people show up. This first night I signed up to perform third. I never been here before, but it looks like it’s mostly acoustic guitar players who also sing.

Tom the owner is a pretty laid back guy. A young guy named Ratt that I met at a party which Ron at Ron’s Radical Records had in the new space where he was going to move his store.

It’s been twenty years since I first played out on open mike. It was a place on Middle Street called the Front Page. It was run by a guy named Walter. They usually had blues bands on other nights, and it almost became a custom for Walter to get up and do a blues song with the blues bands. sometimes he’d make up his own words. Some bands liked it, some didn’t. But I started playing at the Front Page on open mike, and I’d show up every week. I only drank Coke, even when I went there to hang around when they had the blues bands. They’d always give me free Coke, like they did on the open mike. When I first played at the Front Page, I’d go up and perform for ten or fifteen minutes with just my guitar with a lot of distortion and adlibbed vocals. I eventually progressed to using a drum machine and an Arp Axxe synthesizer. The one-note simple songs were easy to do vocals with. I had set vocals for all the vocal songs. That was 1981 till 1982. Now it’s twenty years later, making my latest comeback at the Sugar Shack.

Well, the program started. There were a few acoustic guitarists and a singer. Then I went on and played four songs. I felt very out of place at the beginning of the evening because I didn’t know anybody there. And this time I knew that I was out of their league as far as the music I’d be performing with my new workstation. Surprisingly, before I went on, my friend Anna from a summer production of a play I was in showed up for support. She said she would be coming, and it was nice when she walked in the door. She had heard my music with the Korg Karma during the summer on tapes that I had made, and she always enjoyed my music. We had become best buddies. At least I had one person in the audience that would understand what I was doing creatively.

I think I played four or five quick songs, which blew the friggin place away. Ratt the emcee came up to me and gave me the business card of his brother’s, who does web design work, and a young man came up and asked me what band I had played in. It was obvious that he was extremely impressed.

Anna and I stayed until almost the end, and she left. Outside during a break, I had asked Tom the owner what happens after everybody plays. He said, “People play again if they like.” So after Anna left, I got to play two or three more songs. I felt awkward. Here I am with this tremendous instrument which has percussion, hundreds of diferent styles of music, and I had started to master it quite well – but I felt awkward in the atmosphere, because everyone else played acoustic guitar.

Second Wednesday at the Sugar Shack

It’s always a trip playing out on open mike. It’s the college part of Lowell, so it seems musicians from Lowell University stop by and play. Last week was interesting. My good friend and production buddy Anna stopped by. It’s doubtful she’ll show up this week. I’m all alone. The emcee Ratt seemed kind of interesting last week. Looks like there’s a band this week that has drums – this should be loud. I signed up to go first. I don’t know who else is going to show up to play. It seems like a few of the regular guitarists/singers are here.

I just played. It was a trip again. Glad I went first to get it over.

Now there’s a guitarist. I realized I rarely look at the audience when I perform. They’re all strangers, about thirty people.

Anna surprised me again and showed up after I performed. She was going to do some of her poetry that she told me about, but was told it may not be until the end of the night. She was hesitant to do her poetry anyways. I never heard her poetry, but she always told me to her it seemed radical, or certainly not what anyone would call mainstream. But it would have been interesting to hear some of her poetry.

We’d decided to pack up my stuff and take a ride down to the Old Worthen. I think we had about four bucks between us. She had a drink, I had a Coke, and she had three cigarettes left. There was kind of a funk band playing that night at the Old Worthen. We stayed for about a half an hour, and then went back to my place to drop off my equipment. I showed her some of my band sites on my computer.

Last week when she came to the Sugar Shack, she had to drive all the way back to Needham, Massachusetts. This week Anna was going to be able to stay at her boyfriend’s, who lived with his parents in Nashua, New Hampshire, a much shorter drive from Lowell. We left my apartment around quarter past eleven, because she told her boyfriend she’d be there around midnight. So I drove her back to her car.

The next week that I played at the Sugar Shack, Anna couldn’t make it, which was awkward because I think the other musicians were a little bit intimidated by what I did, so very few would even approach me or talk to me. People always applauded after I played, which was nice. I started to speak to a couple of the hipper people, when I would go outside and have a cigarette. But I felt when I went inside that the feeling was kind of “What’s this guy doing here?”

The next time I was going to play there, Anna called me surprisingly at 6:30 and said she was at her boyfriend Brian’s house and she could easily come to Lowell and see me perform again. I filled her in on a couple of things that had been happening with me recently musically, and in the Lowell cultural experience. I got there around 8:30 – no one was there yet. The emcee said that maybe a lot of people would not be coming because there was something else going on in town. I was standing outside talking with Tom, Ratt, and another guy, when Anna, the Queen of Reality, walked up. She was a little more regularly dressed. Well, at least she didn’t have high heels on. I brought my video camera and asked Anna if she would videotape me. She did, and did a fantastic job. We chatted incessantly outside and inside, and we had developed this inner communication. For example, as we were sitting inside, I saw two people sitting – it was obvious that they had limited opportunities and had had a hard life. I said to Anna, “Who do you see in this place who really needs to hear some music tonight?” She looked around, and didn’t even have to tell me who it was – she knew. She said, “Too bad they weren’t here when you played.”

We chatted outside before Anna left to go home to Needham, about an hour’s drive away.

Another Wednesday night at the Sugar Shack. I wasn’t here last week, so I feel kind of strange being back. The regulars are starting to show up, some new people are hanging out. It’s mostly students from the college, UMass of Lowell. It’s weird being here. I feel like an elephant in a bird’s nest. I’m not going on until after ten.

It’s cool listening to all the other people that play. Almost everyone performs with an acoustic guitar, and sings. Some of the performers play together. It’s a good bunch of people. I’m 46. Most of the other people are in their twenties. A couple people older, but it’s like a young scene.

I just went out to have a smoke. You can’t smoke at the Sugar Shack like you can at the Old Worthen. I’ve had a weird day anyways.

The first perfomer is about to play.

The last night I played at the Sugar Shack went like this.

It looks my last night at the Shack is going to be dull. Most of the regulars aren’t here tonight. I’ve gotten to meet and film some of the other performers. One is a poet whose name is Mike – he’s around my age – and a couple of young guys called the Fry brothers, but they hadn’t shown up this night. I played first and had Ratt videotape me. I played my ass off. I had my lead machine, a Korg O1WFD, that I had loaned to Anna and had gotten back. I hadn’t had it for months, so I really appreciated having it again. It has a ripping lead sound called “Feedbacker.” Ratt said afterwords that he didn’t know if he caught everything I did because he had thought the camera was already turned on.

No one has said a word to me after my short set. It’s the nature of the coffeehouse atmostphere at the Sugar Shack.

It’s nice hearing all the other musicians and poets, but they aren’t here tonight. Anna, the Queen of Reality, sent me a card today. I was a real trip spending time with her, but it’s nice to have a breather.

A young man is playing now. I’ve never seen him before, but he sounds good. There’s so much talent in the world that never gets to be heard, except maybe at this coffeehouse. I guess sometimes that’s what it’s really about. Playing whatever you want, whenever you can. Too bad there aren’t more places like the Shack, and more people who appreciate someone presenting their creativity.

This young man is very serious, and his heart is into it. That’s all that matters. If your heart is into it, the audience will feel it.

Oh shit, here come some of the regulars. It looks like it’s going to be an interesting evening after all.

I caught one of the other performers on video before, and gave him one of my stories. That’s Mike, who I spoke of earlier.

The guy who just played – I guess his name was Jeff.

The next person is a highschool student reading from the highschool handbook about the dress code and other rules. It’s a good idea. He’s reading the dress code. I’m going to have to go out and have a brain oil break soon.

The next guy has played here before. He’s pretty polished on his presentation of the music he does.

I enjoy coming here and hearing all these local artists perform. I’m going to have to come another time and just hang out. You can tell who the true performers are. They’re the ones who don’t make an exit after they perform. They stay around for a little while to listen to the other players. So far everyone who’s played has stayed. Some performers have friends that show up to hear them play.

I still feel that some of the other performers are put off by what I do, I mean the music I perform. Or at least, feeling ill at ease to chat or have a conversation with me. I’m sitting here writing kind of in my own little zone – boy, I needed that b.o. I don’t want to go outside while someone else is playing.

There are a lot of people here tonight to see what’s going on. Mostly college students. I’ve got the pencil that the bands sign in with. Hopefully none of the latecomers that normally play here need this pencil to sign up.

A couple of the performers are playing chess at the next table. The performer that’s playing now is playing some weird chords and singing. His heart is really into the song he wrote. Everyone that plays here is so humble. I guess they’re just happy to have someplace to play and be heard.

This guy is really cooking now.

Most everyone plays acoustic guitar and sings.

This guy sounds like Peter Gabriel or some other British songwriter of his era. Kind of like Phil Collins and Genesis. That’s what I’m thinking. It’s terrific and inspiring to hear young performers with such talent. I’ve got to get a film project going with the LTC (Lowell Telecommunications) to start broadcasting some of this local talent.

I forgot to mention one night that I came to the Shack and video recorded a few of the performers that I had gotten to know – the Fry brothers, Mike when he did poetry, and another guy who did some cool poetry one night when Anna was here who I thought was really cool. He had heard of me Lance Gargoyle, and had always wanted to put a face with the name. Too bad he never showed up again so I could see him.

So back to the film project with LTC. I like to start videotaping the performers and broadcasting it on the LTC. The LTC is a Lowell public access channel. The Lowell community don’t know what they’re missing. Talent like this shouldn’t go unnoticed. Good songwriting and musicianship isn’t dead in Lowell, it’s just no encouraged or promoted. Lowell has very few outlets for musicians to play. What a shame!

The performer who I was just talking about – his name was Josh. They next guy is named Nick. He plays here a lot. Every performer has to try to adjust their own sound. They should have someone besides the performers adjusting the sound when they get up and play or before they play.

Just came back from a brain oil break. I’m mellow now. This guy sounds like a minstrel singer in how his songwriting and vocals are. This guy is singing his ass off like the last guy.

One young man asked to use my keyboard to play a piano song. I said of course.

Sometimes I think people’s lives are developed and shaped by the music they listen to or play themselves. Everybody is imprisoned by the music that is around them. I tried to surround myself with happy music all my life. Not much angry stuff. A little Wayne County was about as radical as I ever got.

A young woman is now reading poetry.

The person playing next is one of the best players and songwriters I’ve seen here. He said he’s been playing here for a few years since he first started going to the University.

The guy that wanted to play my keyboard is playing now. He’s doing a pop song. He’s doing a good job. He knows the song pretty well, but I think he isn’t use to my keyboard workstation, or possibly hasn’t played it out, or hasn’t played the song in a while. This guy sounds like he wanted to play these songs for someone all his life. I’m glad he’s getting his chance. That’s what it’s all about.

The place only has a few people left, maybe ten.

The young man who played looks afterwards as if he could have done a better job. He did great for what he was doing, but he looks very bummed out and disappointed. I feel kind of bad for the guy. I know that feeling oh so well. Hoping a performance would come out like you had always wanted, but not ending up that way. I walked over to the guy and asked him if he was alright. I didn’t know him that well, but I thought that it was the least I could do. Courtesy first, I always say, courtesy first. He said he was alright, but it was obvious that he was bummed out by his performance.

One of the other performers who stayed, who I believe he had known somewhat, consoled him, but I don’t think it helped. Oh I know the feeling so well. It’s hard to shake it off even if a lot of people weren’t there. I think he was too hard on himself.

He was the last person to play, and I packed up my equipment and started putting it in my car.

I had hoped to get my own night that I could perform when I started playing, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. They seem to be booked up on their regular nights for the next couple of months, and it doesn’t seem as though Tom the owner or Ratt the emcee are going to encourage or ask me to play there and have my own night. And I don’t want to press it. I was hoping to get a performance project going, inviting my friends and actor friends to participate, but I don’t think that’s going to happen here.

I got myself videotaped three times. I got a good response from the audience every time I played, and got to meet and see some good local talent from Lowell.

I talked to a friend of mine, Jack, at the LTC, about videotaping the local talent at the Sugar Shack and putting a program together for broadcast on the local public access channel. He thinks it’s a great idea. There isn’t much programming on the LTC at the moment utilizing the artists, musicians, poets, and performers that are in Lowell.

I haven’t been to the Sugar Shack in weeks to just hang out. I have a woman who had me play some sound effect music one evening when I was playing while she read a poem. It turned out great. I’ve got in on film. I’ve got enough good footage of myself – at least four good songs – the night that Anna recorded me – that I can use for the program. I videotaped a good performance of Dave, a guy around my age, and another poet that I recorded.

I don’t need to play at the Sugar Shack any longer. I got it out of my system. Now I’d like to find out if other people, other performers who play there, would like to be videotaped, to be broadcast on the local public access channel, the LTC, and get the full names of the people I recorded already. This would certainly be a nice payback for all the support and applause I had gotten from the audience and the other performers when I played there. Hopefully they won’t be intimidated by the project. We’ll see. I think they would be more at ease with me presenting their music to the community, than having me play my own creations. Only time will tell. Just have to start going there on Wednesdays and seeing what happens.

But, just like me, the other performers really don’t have anywhere else to present their music. This would be an opportunity for them to have a platform in Lowell like the public access channel to be heard.