Here are some of Lance's lyrical favorites
that made him the monster he is today:

If you've been on a bus
For a couple of day
If you've been on a bus
For a couple of days
Or just got out of work
It was a double shift
You stop in a club
You just got paid
We all get your drift
When you lift your arm and wave
Gyrating flesh dancing
On the floor
The fumes are so bad
I can't take it no more
It's getting hard ot breath
My throat is realy sore
Curising through the vapors
Got to get to the door
Through the moisture
It's all body fluids
You got perfume coming
Out of your ears
My eyes are drowning in
Sulfuric acid tears
Your odor's so bad
It could start a fad
Groovie solid
Frosty and keen
Groovie solid
Frosty and keen
If you wanna dance all night
And work up a sweat,
Don't come bouncing back to me
With what you got left
Cause when we go home
We're gonna wash that flesh
And I guarantee you honey
That we'll both be refreshed
Europeans take showers
They take them for hours
Put in some soda
Get rid of that odor
Have a novicaine douche
Or a cherry flvored lollipop body cream
And you might be wondering
What all this means
It's called stale pussy
We call it S.P.
And us guys shouldn't laugh
Cause our underwear reeks
Just as same as a chicks
When they wear them for weeks
Take them off, have awash
Give your body some relief
We've all got needs
That's easy to see
But you can't decide
What's attracting
All thes flies
You can pass it off as steak and potatoes
I just had a big meal
Steak and potatoes
Sorry I go sick
Steak and potatoes
Well you know they say
If it smells like cologne
Leave it alone
But if it smells like fish
Make it a dish
And you remember this
When you hear S.P.
From someone like me
If you 've been on a bus
For a couple of days
Or just got out of work
It was a double shift
You stop in a club
You just got paid
We all get your drift
When you lift your arm and wave
We all get your drift
When you lift your arm and wave'

I wake up in the morning with a terrible scent
Thinking of last night and all the money I spent
I finally get my face up
And head off for work
To see all my friends
And act like a jerk
It's the only way
To get through the day
Making people wonder
At the things that I say
At work
I ain't got a doctor, a lawyer or a banker
But I've got friends
At work
I ain't got a minister
But I'm not all that sinister
At work
The things I do might seem kinda bold
But it's my way of not being controled
At work
You get up in the morning
And you think about your hair
You take a shower, brush your teeth
And think just what you'll wear
To impress yourself to impress your friends
Or so you would think or would like to believe
You're a lonely robot, you're a lonely fool
You're a copy of your friends
You're the farthest thing from cool
You're a puppet in a bubble, a bubble around yourself
What you see in that bubble
Is a reflection of your self
We're all just puppets
You got to know that first
If you want to cut those string
You've got to have almighty thirst
You can't wake up if you don't know you're asleep
Come on people
We ain't got all week
I ain't got a doctor, a lawyer or a banker
But I've got friends
At work
I ain't got a minister
But I'm not all that sinister
At work
The things I do might seem kinda bold
But it's my way of not being controled
At work
We've got nuns, and none of this, and none of that
And none of that either
But I wanna do-do
Like your mother never did
Like your mother never did

(end of the scene where Tony meets Lotta)

They never take vacations
They're always on the street
They ain't got no time
To go home and be sweet
They never borrow money
Not even a dime
It's they do it's for a Pepsi
And that ain't no crime
If they need cash
They'll just hint around
Talk among themselves
Put their hooks in some clown
You can't make an omelette
Without breaking some eggs
If you get confused
Start with a leg
They never carry purses
Jewelry or rings
They ain't got time
For those silly things
Being discreet in an alley way
So they heat don't smell their meat
And take them away
You'll see them in bars
In lounges and clubs
It may be a dive
Or a rock 'n roll pub
They say that their working
But get off at twelve
You wait around
And your pollen pistol swells
You wait aorund till twelve
You wait around till two
She finally get off
And gets down to you
So you go home and shower
To get off that crud
Put on some body cream and
Dilute those suds
(slow tempo)
Funny can be tragic
And tragic, funny
It's not all for kicks,
A high, and money
I'm sorry that's not the way it is
Sleep and work and shoot
Is all they ever seem to do
Well, at least them that I've met
That's all that they do'
It's not a very pleasant thing to see
Or have to be in contact with
But you gotta just have pity
For what people have to live with
To be them
To be them
What they could like'

Nancy the Plank
She's as flat as a board
No one wants to go out with her
Because they think that she's boring
She's flat on the top
She's flat in the back
If she ever got pregnant
She wouldn't even look fat
The biggest bump that's on her
Is the wart on her back
She's got a '65 Volkswagon
Prime it all grey
In a couple more months
She's gonna have it all paid
And then we'll take a cruise
Down to Burger Lane
And maybe I'll get lucky
Maybe I'll get laid
She's Nancy the Plank
She's the girl of my dreams
She's in her late twenties
But she looks like nineteen
She's as thin a wafer
She can hide in the weeds
As long as I'm with her
That's I'll that I'll ever need
She's never mean
She never tells me what to do
We're so much alike
We're like Preparation 2

In my town I don't get a hello
Or how's by you
They think that I'm strange
A nut with a soda jerk hairdo
Saturday morning when I go to sleep
The mowers start to whir
And in my head is TNT
Black lingerie and panther fur
And while our skin sticks
To a lay-boy chair
I stand in my room
With my arms in the air
It's okay, keep your daughters locked up
It's all right, keep your wives locked up
How does it feel, oh,
To be the neighborhood weirdo'
Do they try to tell you
Which way the wind blows'
Don't they know
That I am the
Neighborhood weirdo
In your neighborhood
Weirdo
In your neighborhood
In my town, I don't say too much
I don't blast my stereo
The kids think it's strange
A real "I don't know"
Monday morning when I go to work
The gears start to turn
And in my head is styrofoam
Dancing food and carpet burns
And while your skin sticks
To a lazyboy chair
I stand in my room
With my arms in the air
It's okay, keep your daughters locked up
It's all right, keep your wives locked up
How does it feel, oh,
To be the neighborhood weirdo'
Do they try to tell you
Which way the wind blows'
Don't they know that I am the neighborhood weirdo
In your neighborhood, weirdo
In your neighborhood, weirdo
Monster Rock
In the nineteen nineties if we have a big nuclear war
And everybody's walking around ugly
And your body's all festering with sores
This subject matter you may not like
But radiation acne's really got some bite
That's why I've got this song ready for you
As far as most people are concerned
To be ugly you've got a lot to learn
Ugly could be your feelings
Ugly could be the things that you say
Ugly could be your thoughts or your actions
It wouldn't matter if she had a bald spot
On her head or anywhere else
Or hairy armpits or hairy legs
Or even a moustache
I love Italian girls
Or if she scratched herself in some unmentionable place
It wouldn't matter to me
As long as she had
A nice personality
Was witty
Or had money
Personality was witty or had money
I love to rock because I'm a rock-and-rollster
I love to rock because I'm a rock-and-rollster
I love to rock because I'm a rock-and-roll monster
Make me your M-O-N-ster
Make me your M-O-N-ster
Make me your M-O-N-ster today
Lance Gargoyle, friend of the ugly
Lance Gargoyle, friend of the ugly
A monster among men and women
And children over eighteen
That's lean
But I've got to say
That I'm a rock-and-rollster
That I'm a rock-and-rollster
It's only monster rock
Once it gets going, it ain't gonna stop
It's monster rock and roll
Once it gains momentum, it'll be out of control
Etc. etc. etc.

Well this is a story, about a chick
Who used to be a tractor-trailer driver
Driving on the highway
Her name was Butch
That was her handle
She was a C B er
She was a C B er
She asked me if I had any soda
She was from Minnesota
She asked me if I had any soda
Well I used to work in a malt shop
Making malted milk shakes all day
After work
I used to take a cruise down to burger lane
She was a C B er
She asked me if I had any soda
But I could be a soda jerk in
I could be a soda jerk in
Some other other town
In some other town
In some other town
In some other town
She was a C B er
She asked me if I had any soda
She was from Minnesota
She asked me if I had any soda
But I could be a soda jerk in
I could be a soda jerk
And she could go back to New York City
She used to be a stripper
In New York City
She was the only
Midget stripper
She used to put lighter fluid on her breasts
And her pubic area
And lit it on fire
She was kind of kinky
She tried to get a job somewhere else
But no one would hire her
She finally got her C B license
She finally became a tractor trailer driver
And her name was Butch
And her name was Butch
B-U-T-C-H
B-U-T-C-H
B-U' .'T-C-H
And her name was Butch

Mole people
Are basically beatniks
Mole people
They're lots of fun
They only come out at night
You'll never see 'em under the sun
You'll never see 'em under the sun
They're more stylized
Than they used to be
Back in the mid fifties
Or in sixty-three
Or in sixty-three
See them cruise down the boulevards
Trying to catch 'em can be kind of hard
They're not stupid, they're always on guard
For coolie types and preppies in cars
They can be invisible
It's a severe kind of creative craziness
But not in a negative fashion
They're not aggressive
They mind their own thoughts
They're not aggressive
They mind their own thoughts
They've got things to do
Like cleaning up their karma
How about you'
Self-study practice
Is what they're into
Your brain is just a social sandwich
Your brain is just a social sandwich
Your brain is just a social sandwich
Your social sandwich needs some review
Your social sandwich needs some re
needs some review
From you