Rufus Bing
The Glitter Rats
Tony and the Intern
Welcome Charles LeMarl
Let The Weekend Begin
VDA-Venus/D'Wonderful

The Start of Hybrid Weekly and Rufus Bing

Hi Lenny,
Did you see this week's copy yet?

............... Trio
Hi Trio,
Hahahahahahahahahaha.hahahahahahaha.
That's perfect. I was just thinking of giving our e-mail adventures' text their own page. That's the perfect title too. I was thinking of making them smaller too. What a great idea. Have you been taking the Jackie Chrome home study course on how to make the most of what you've got? I've got some ideas for this. The ad is gonna be a great banner ad to paste around. It's one of the best thing anyone has ever done for me on the web. Of course I don't think there are many or anyone I've met from the web or mp3 that knows me as well and has similar tastes.

Life is good. I'm sure I'll chuckle everytime I see it from this day on. You could have a new calling doing theses.
I was thinking about the colored text we did this weekend and it could be a text for a scene all by it's self.
I'll be getting to earlier e-mails as soon as I can.
HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa
Lenny

Good morning Lenny,
Haha! Glad you liked it. I have so many of your images in the "Lenny" folder now, that just looking at the thumbnails sets my mind in motion. Anytime you want to save the various stages of creation of one of your paintings, it will make a cool animation.
Have a good day at work ( or hope you had one if you are reading this in the evening ).
................. Trio

I'm thinking of names for Rufus Bing Productions associates too you think would be good.

Sidney Hipple -- Intake Director, I believe they call that the A&R man, don't they? Artists and Repertoire?
Or was he just filling in until they find the right guy for the job.

It is A & R. We say Intake Director because some artists expect a lot if we say A & R
all the time and my girlfriend thought it sounded cool.

Jackie Chrome -- Public relations? Director of Promotions? Promotion Consultant?
I was never sure whether he worked with RBP as an employee or whether he was an independant agent.

Jackie Chrome was an associate of ours before he moved his operation to Hollywood but he is still on the board of directors and we promote his workshops, video recordings, all his home study courses and some of the acts he represents. He made quite an impact on all of us while he was here and developed many methods we still use today.

Is Rufus Bing still alive? Or does his son run the outfit now with Rufus Senior just showing up occasionally?

Little can be said about Mr. Bing due to his policy of staying in the background and working from the inside out. His son was involved at one time but got involved with some local cult and had to be let go.
Mr. Bings' last public appearance was a small cameo role in the Adam Rifkin film called "The Dark Backward" and his appearance was disguised. He is a very private person these days and rarely seen except by myself and a few other life long associates.

And what's the name of that receptionist at the front entrance? She is georgeous.

Her name is Ms. Lotta Gue. It's important for our operation to have someone with her skills, charm and of course beauty being the first face people see when they arrive. She's a little dingy at times but she's the most genuine person I know. She was involved with Tony D' Wonderful some time back but is currently very good friends with a woman called Snookie Lumps. That's all I better say.

I see they still have Old Man what's-his-name running the elevator even though it's a fully self-service type now, but the old guy has been here so long... they had to find something for him to do. Show business has been his whole life, from Vaudeville to 78rpm recordings to radio to oblivion. That Rufus Bing has heart. He never turns anybody away... His son runs a tighter ship though. I think he is more concerned with the dollar. Rufus Senior was about ART.

Ah...... Dennis Reilly. He's been with company since the first day we opened. I bet you heard a story or two from him about the old days. He dated the harp tuner for Harpo Marx. That's how he got started in Vaudeville. His recordings under the name Bobby Bootoni are priceless if you can find any today. His Sax and Trumpet solos inspired everyone from Charlie Parker to Miles Davis. It was during that time that he got involved with drugs. He would take any pill you had even if he didn't know what it was. Thank heavens he hooked up with Oscar Levant and eventually saw the error of his ways. Thanks to Oscar he got into radio but that didn't last. Radio was on its way out and so was he. He had a fling with the station managers wife and had a son he never saw. That really broke him. No one saw him again until the 60's when he was dropping acid with Tim Leary, hanging out with the Fugs,and reading Carlos Casteneda. After that he got into Zen and cleaned up his act. After that he followed everyone from The Dalai Lama to Salvador Dali. He ended up in Lowell in the early 80's. He was driving a taxi. That's where he met Rufus Bing. He picked him up at a club called The Front Page. Rufus was young and still finding his dreams. That night when Dennis picked him up Mr. Bing was feeling on top of the world. He was in his early tweenties and trying to make it finding talent on the open mic scene at the Front Page on Tuesday nights and hoping someday to be a promoter of real talent. That night he met Lance Gargoyle, who would later become his stairway to success, and signed him as his first client. Mr.Bing was in heaven when he got in that Taxi to go home.

Dennis was at the lowest point of his life. He had finally gotten off of hard drugs but still felt the emptiness of what his life had become. Before picking up Mr.Bing he had smoked some pot with his last fare. They were Vito Vasalini and Danny Dupa, two lowlifes in the underworld of Lowell. They had made a big score and both of them were painting the town red. Vito was a big shot and would tend to hurt peoples feelings. He made Dennis feel like crap that night when he reminded Dennis of his failures in life.

It was a long ride home and Mr. Bing was excited and spoke to Dennis about his plans and how they would soon change his life.

Outside his building Dennis spoke of his past and current life situation, as it was at that time, but Mr.Bing only saw the goodness and kindness he still had and the genuineness and uniqueness that had survived.

Suddenly his own glory didn't feel as good knowing that someone with so much potential had so little.

Mr. Bing realized a very important lesson that night. That one of the worst experiences in life is the feeling of being left out of humanity.

Dennis was also changed that evening. He never met anyone with so much ambition and energy in his life. The rest is history.

We got Dennis to retire once a few years ago but he was still stopping in everyday even the weekends to have lunch with Mr. Bing, myself or the other staff around here. He was starting to become distracting because he had nothing to look forward but everyone here always treated him with respect and dignity as is the attitude that Mr. Bing expects from everyone who represents our little company here.

One day Dennis fell on the ice on the way in and was in the hospital for two weeks and away for over a month with a broken hip. The place wasn't the same around here without him. When he came back Mr. Bing asked Dennis if he would consider returning and offered him a better job here in the mail room because of his hip. It was alright for a while but no one was around in that area of the company to chat with. Mr. Bing saw this right away and mentioned to Dennis that the new elevator system sometimes has problems and asked Dennis if he would got back to keeping an eye on the elevator and keeping an eye on the lobby. Mr. Bing told me his face lite up like a christmas tree.
We put a chair in the elevator for him but he took it out. If he gets tired or his hip hurts he'll sit in the lobby and chat with Lotta. I don't know what this place would be without him. Even though Mr. Bing is not around much everyone here has become his family.

RB jr. is like Mr. Bing in a lot of ways in spite of what the media has said about him. He was as tight as a crab ass but you know how the next generation sometimes trys to do as good or better than a parent or they feel they are lacking something. I think that's the case here. I'm sure he'll be back someday when his own glory doesn't feel as sufficient as he thought it was.

I hope that clears up a few things.

" ...I hope that clears up a few things...."
It sure does. And thanks for telling me the full story on Dennis Reilly. I knew bits of it, but you really put it all together for me.
You can see I was totally misinformed about Rufus Bing's son. I should listen to less gossip and go straight to the source. That's a shame about the son. A cult! Say that wouldn't be the Muddle Cult that we are just starting to hear about down here? I understand it originated in Lowell, but I had never thought to connect it with RBP.

You can see how the older Mr. Bing's reclusive nature might lead me to think he had retired. I see now he is there "behind the curtain" as they say in Oz, unseen, but in full control.

Thanks again, Mr Hipple, and next time I will get my information "straight from the horse's mouth" which I believe is old Horse Racing lingo and contains absolutely no implication that you are in any way a horse, sir.

By the way, you mentioned Salvador Dali in your letter, so you might find it interesting that my next door neighbor's father once employed a Latino worker whose great Aunt had been friends with a woman who once worked for Salvador Dali's mistress ( or so she claimed to be ) ... Small world, isn't it!

The End

The VDA-Venus/D'Wonderful Agency Dear Mr. Le Marl,

I thought it would be a good idea to make you aware of something that has been brought to my attention. It seems that your client Bobby Venus and my Tony D'Wonderful have started their own talent agency called the Venus/D'Wonderful Agency or D'Wonderful/Venus Agency which ever they decide sounds best.So far it looks like just another side venture the boys have taken but I thought you should be informed in case your contract guidelines are being violated.I can understand how Mr. Venus is a difficult person to keep an eye on because of his carefree nature but when he met our Tony in Vegas with all his wacky ideas something was bound to develop.

So far there hasn't been any problems on my end with them representing any acts or artists I handle but they are causing a little stir in circles that other associates of Rufus Bing Productions travel in.For instance.Lenny Hall,a good friend of Mr. Bings was attending a Improv Workshop held by Ruth Zaporah.It was Action Theater and was two weekends.This is a time that Mr.Hall has the most enjoyment and a damper was put on the situation with the V.D.A. showed up to give Ruth a pitch to add her to their client list.

I know these two guys have their own approach to publicity but some of their ideas for Ms. Zaporah seemed a bit unorthodox.Bobby asked Ruth if she had any revealing photographs of herself that might be circulating that the media could find out about.She said no and Tony said don't worry he knows a guy who does wonders with photos with his computer Bobby remarked that they had to get her name out there in the media any way they could.One of them talked about doctoring a photo of Ruth to make it appear that she was holding the knive that O.J. used.Ruth didn't think that was such a good idea and Tony said "How about a photo of her and O.J. playing golf together?"They talked about a Ruth Zaporah look alike contest and Ruth Zaporah dolls.Ruth was just rolling her eyes trying to figure out if this was another gag that Lenny was pulling.The class had to start and Bobby and Tony left to work on some more ideas to convince Ruth it would be in her best interest to allow them to represent her and Action Theater and inform the world of the most underrecogized and overlooked improvisation teacher in the history of the performing arts.

When lunchtime came at 1:00 they were waiting for Ruth outside and accompanied Ruth and Sarah Hickler,one of the most accomplished and leading practitioners of Action Theater and theater and performing arts instructor of great repute in the greater New England area and many other parts of the world including Santa Fe, New Mexico, to lunch.They talked about a world tour for Ruth.Ruth said she had traveled enough in her life and was traveling much less these days and was focusing on teaching where she lives in New Mexico.When they heard this both said they might be able to move in with her but it could only be for a few months as they had other clients in need of their services.Ruth said She didn't think that would be such a good idea either.Bobby said they would work for free untill they got her worldwide franchises of Action Theater up and running.Ruth said "Who's gonna pay for all this?"They both looked at each other and Tony said "We don't need money,we've got connections and besides the Venus/D'Wonderful Agency is gonna be as big as Rufus Bing Productions someday and make Charles Le Marl Associates look like a flea on the back of the new dogs in town.Ruth just said: "Take the two week workshop in Santa Fe, August 8th through the 21th and we'll talk about it then.After they left Sarah asked Ruth what she was gonna do if they actually did show up?Ruth said: It's a Residential Intensive anyways and since they don't have any training in Action Theater yet they couldn't be included anyways.Unless...Sarah said unless what?Unless in the meantime they got some private training from one of the most accomplished and leading practitioners of Action Theater in the New England area and other parts of the world including Santa Fe, New Mexico.

The last thing Lenny heard was Sarah saying Oh No! Oh No! and Ruth saying "Well lunch is over I'm going back to the B.U. studio and read the paper.

As you can see Mr. Le Marl this issue may need to be looked into further by you and your staff.I look forward to any input or suggestions you may have.

P.S.
On a more positive note I hear Klunky Klipman is doing well in Canada,has found his childhood sweetheart Pixie Tofu and has stopped drinking.The both belong to the Muddle Fuddle cult but as you know things can change at a moment notice.

I don't know if you noticed the story in Variety, but Charles LeMarl Associates has been bought by MegaArtistsUSA, which is a subsidiary of WorldWide Accumulations.

I am still the boss around here, of course. Haha! But now I have a boss, too. A new experience for me, but one I am getting used to.

But what will be of interest to you is that I heard on the corporate grapevine that MegaArtistsUSA is interested in acquiring Rufus Bing Productions. Just thought I would tip you off so that you could have your "books in order" if you know what I mean. The Bobby Venus thing is an interesting development, but I think we will find the VDA to be a small creature with a short life. Right now, Tony and Bobby are trading on their friendships within the entertainment world. But friends and business don't always mix. They are entertainers first, businessmen on a whim. We will see what happens.

On the other hand, their ideas are so wacky they just might work. We've seen it before, eh?

I am glad Klunky Klipman has found happiness in Canada with Pixie Tofu. The news doesn't make his current wife, Kathy Klipman, very happy, but then I don't know if Klunky ever amused Kathy as much as he did his audiences.

As ever, I am glad to hear from you and hope you are doing well. As you can see, we are in new offices. MegaArtistsUSA moved us here. It isn't Miami, but it still has some charm. At least, that's what they tell me.

MegaArtistsUSA isn't the first Multi-Media organization interested in acquiring Rufus Bing Productions so I understand how the process goes.LittleBigGuys,a local company was interested a few years ago but never could come up with the financing.I didn't like what they had planned anyways.They told me I'ld be promoted to regional director but I heard through the grapevine that they always say there's gonna be a big promotion and more money but you end up being downsized and end up doing all the work in some dingy little office with only one light bulb,no windows,in the basement below a dance studio and the nearest place to eat is to far to travel so you end up eating off the roach coach and you're on call on the weekends.That's not for me.

I only own 40% of RBP.Mr.Bing has 20% and a mystery guy in South Carolina owns the other 40%.All parties involved trust my judgement and have insisted on me being their proxy so I always keep in mind what they would be agree on.Mr.Rufus Bing is alway busy making money directing films as Adam Rikin these days and has said he would give his 20% to charity.I don't know about the guy in S.C. but if the sale ever does happen someday I'm gonna go on to something else and have another company in place>But I think I'll travel for a while after the sale and meet some other common regular folk in the world and just take my time.I remember the T.V. shows Route 66 and Then Came Bronson and I enjoy reading about traveling by an writer named Tahir Shah but have never had the opportunity or the time.

Lenny Hall has been on board for years helping run the operation here but he's getting involved in developing a Improv Company in Lowell called ImprovLowell which will be utilizing the principals of Action Theater and Keith Johnstone and his own unique method that will be called Hybrid Theater.It may end up becoming a franchise someday so I might as well get involved early.

I"ve always got the books in order.Both sets.I'm just kidding.That's my little attempt at humor.I'm very good with the books and with the money.Speaking of money the first offer we got that I mentioned that never went through was only $100,000.00.We've grown a lot since then and hope to get between $500,000 and $1,000,000.00.The music library of over 2000 original songs and the rights to all the bands is worth at least $1,000,000.00 themselves.Add to that the Digital Art by myself and Lenny Hall is worth at least $500,000.00 alone.With the right promotion and contacts the Stories by Lenny Hall could someday bring in $750,000.00 in the first printing of the first three volumes alone.Lastly the Itty Bitty Movies should bring in at least $675,000.00 if marketed and released by a company that knows a good thing when they see it.Of course all of the Laughing Dervish web site would go along with the sale and all parties involved will be able to remove some of their content before the sale and would not be part of the final sale.As you can see whoever purchases RBP is getting a good deal but there will be other adventures and talents I can develop and master and finally get the real vacation I've never had. I heard that Bobby Venus and Tony D are closing the Venus/D'Wonderful Agency.It seems they were to hanging out with two shady ladies they met in Vegas and both got thrown in jail.They only had enough bail money for one so they decided to flip a coin to see who would go and who would stay.Who ever got out would work and get up the money to get the other one out.Bobby won the toss but when he got out he discover that Tony had worn all his expensive jockey shorts and had left them all dirty in a pile under his bed.It seems he was wearing them for four days at a time so they were pretty funky.When Bobby next saw Tony in court Tony just said "I thought you and me was you and me"Bobby said from now on you and me is you and you.Tony's bail is only $5,000.00 but he has a hard enough even paying his rent on time these days.He still thinks he's the Dean Martin of the modern era.I wouldn't be surprised if Bobby stops in to say hello to you sometime soon.

One evening when Klunky was staying here last year and drunk he talked about Cathy and how she was the rock he had in the good old days when he was almost a has been before he was a was yet.He said Cathy and him was married by some mail order minister and he never considered it legal as far as he was concerned. I feel bad for Cathy but what about his son Klicky Klipman?I heard he's getting a popular as Buddy Hacket Jr.

Are you still playing golf with Bob Newhart and Don Rickles?Ask Don about the time I played and used a small hockey puck instead of a golf ball.You should have seen the look on his face.He gave me a cookie.Have you and Mrs.LeMarl ever gone out with Bob and Don when they're with their wives?They are even funnier than on stage or film.Are you still in contact with Jonathan Winters?I heard he pretty much retired and just hangs out in the town he lives in and has fun with all his friends.He's one of the nicest and funniest people I know.I've met Robin Williams a number of times and he always mentions J.W. very fondly.

One last thing.If it's to personal I'll understand.How much stock or assets did you have with Charles LeMarl Associates?It seems like you got the short end of the stick when MegaArtistsUSA bought you out.
Hope all is well and the A C is on high.

Sidney Hipple COO-CFO-CEO-
Chairman of the Board and
Director of Multi-Media Productions
Rufus Bing Productions
Boston-New York-Washington,D.C.

Dear Mr. Hipple,

I am glad you are maintaining your independence on this day after Independence Day. I wish I could have kept ownership of my company, but our financial condition got so bad that it was inevitable I would have to sell. I received very little on the sale, but at least I still have a job and some assets. The alternative was to declare bankruptcy and then I would have lost everything. The slowdown in CD sales was the main cause of my downfall. The movies were never expected to be profitable, so I had spent most of our energy in music production. Things started looking bad with slumping CD sales starting 3 years ago and then when our distributor, MP3dotCom Music, went bankrupt last year I could hear fate knocking at the door.

Well, MegaArtistsUSA got a good deal when they bought us, but at least I'm still around to do my thing. I love this business. It never was about the money anyway. I do miss Miami, though. The charm of Jacksonville is well-hidden and difficult to appreciate.

Kathy Klipman is in extreme disagreement with Klunky over whether their marriage is legal or not. She thinks it is. Yes, Klicky Klipman is making a name for himself, but at the moment he hates his dad so much he is thinking about changing his name to just "Klicky", which I actually think would be a good move. One name stars tend to make it big. I know you had a great name consultant on your staff, but I forget his name! Hahaha! But I wanted to ask you what his opinion might be?

I used to play golf with Don and Bob, but this whole MegaArtists thing has run me ragged and of course they are in Miami and now I am in Jacksonville, so...

Well, maybe I should be envious of your seeming good fortune, but I know first hand how rapidly our fortunes can change in this business. One good thing about being back on the bottom is that you don't have to worry about falling anymore.

Wishing you continued good fortune in all your efforts,

It's been quite a time up here over the holidays.Mr. Bing was on vacation and hanging out with George Carlin trying to get him to stop drinking and taking pills.It took five months before G.C. finally realized it was time to go into rehab before things got out of control.While this was going on Rufus Bing Jr was running the operation.He didn't spend much time around here so things were quiet and peaceful as usual without him but it seems he was hanging with the wrong crowd and started gambling and lost everything he had.The organization,which will remain nameless,extended him huge line of credit.When he could pay the parties involved cut off his big toe and made him undress and walk naked from the secluded wooded area.It took two days before he found anyone to help him.He was so confused and ranting like a crazy man that the police took him to the closest mental health facility and checked him in.

When Mr.Bing found out he made arrangement to sell off most of Rufus Bing Productions to pay off the debt so Junior would be safe and to keep his honor and reputation unblemished.Mr. Bing has retired but will remain on our board of Trusties Luckily the only location that is left is the operation I'm in charge of here in Dracut,Massachusetts which now covers just the Lowell and Boston area for now.

As you know Rufus Bing Productions has always been mainly involved with promotion but my facility has been involved with development and production for the past few years so it was the best decision for Mr.Bing to salvage,maybe not the most valuable asset he had,but the one he found to be the most promising and felt could someday bring the company back into being one of the most influential organizations around.

Let me tell you what we have planned for this new year.
We call it the "Hand of Progressive Entertainment".The five fingers on the hand are the areas we will be developing and producing.The music division is the baby finger which will be releasing past and future music and getting products ready for our up coming catalog that should be available in the spring or summer.The next is the third finger,the art division.That group will be in charge of getting our massive volume of original digital art ready for the catalog and for possible exhibit.The middle finger is the our new Literary Division which will be in charge of our stock pile of stories and writing adventures and bring them more into the spotlight and ready for the catalog.The first finger is the film division.It will start releasing our large vault of priceless events recorded by our staff over the last tweenty years and also made ready for the catalog.The last finger is not a finger but the thumb.It will be our performance and instruction division and will be developing projects in theater and the performance art for the local area utilizing people from the community and be in charge of our new franchise "The House of Improv".

As you know RBP has alway been about quality entertainment at a reasonable price and we plan to stay that way in spite of our new working climate and financial limitations to bring a new era of Music,Art,Literature,Film and Performance for not only the elite but for the common man.

Most of our staff are volunteers working as interns so we didn't lose any momentum during this reorganization of RBP. Opportunities are still looking good for you and some of your staff to relocate and join us with our new film division once it is at full speed.I'll keep you informed of any changes.

Tony D and Bobby V have joined our staff as agents but are only getting paid when they start bringing in results.In the meantime they are living in the office basement for now.

Klunky won $100,000.00 on a scratch ticket while he was in Maine working as a M C for an open mic night but invested most of it in more scratch tickets and had less than $50.00 when showed up on my door step for Christmas.He's also staying in the basement of the office for now untill he gets back on his feet or I throw him out,which chances are will be soon.I keep telling him "If you want to be in the boat you have to do your share of paddling".He started getting his social security check here so he's helping out when he can. I've got a feeling this year could be a turning point for RBP now that the dust has settled and the worst is over.We're even considering selling on Ebay once we get set up to full speed again.

Hope your holidays went well and you have a profitable and productive new year.
Sidney Hipple
RBP
"The Cadillac of Entertainment"